SONIC HIGH SCHOOL: The Remake
by Muchacho1994
Summary: A rewrite and, hopefully, an improved version of DarkDoomFireMaster's infamous fanfiction SONIC HIGH SCHOOL. I will try to follow the original plot as closely as possible without the ridiculousness of the original story, and will possibly write new scenes as the story moves along. Your constructive criticism, although unnecessary, is greatly appreciated. Happy reading!
1. Sonic's Journal

SONIC HIGH SCHOOL: The Remake

CHAPTER ONE

Sonic scrambled to brush his teeth and lace up his red high-top sneakers. He dashed from room to room, bouncing around much like the ball in a pinball machine.

As he barreled past the kitchen doorway, Sonic's nose picked up the aroma of fresh, sizzling bacon. His mother, standing by the stove and wearing an apron and oven mitts, called out to him. "Sonic! There's two strips of bacon and an egg left over if you're hungry!"

The temptation was strong, but Sonic knew he'd have to force himself to resist it. He shook his head. "Sorry, no time for breakfast!" he blurted back, throwing on his backpack and running past her.

Sonic's mom's surroundings turned red, and dark clouds gathered around her, emitting flashes of lightning. "_You will regret this,_" she threatened in a soft, deep growl, leering at the place in the hallway where Sonic once stood.

Sonic was indifferent to his mother's warning. He would never make it to homeroom on time if he stopped to eat breakfast. He raced out the front door, slamming it so hard the sound ringed and echoed throughout the house. The passing houses became blurs around him as he shot down the sidewalk. As he approached the intersection between his house and the bus stop, he heard a familiar "vroom" and craned his neck around to see the school bus crest over the hill, quickly whizzing past him. Then there was a loud metallic clang, and Sonic felt his body collide with something hard. Because he was not looking where he was going, he had smashed at Mach 3 into a mailbox.

Shaking his head to clear his blurry vision, Sonic stood up and stared in disbelief as the bus drove through the intersection... just seconds before the light turned red and the pedestrian signal changed to "DON'T WALK". The bus left behind big black exhaust clouds, which caused the hedgehog to cough and retch violently.

_Damn it, Sonic_, he thought, internally chastising himself. _You're going to miss the bus__, and on your first day of twelfth grade, too!_

After what seemed like an hour's wait, the signal finally proclaimed "WALK". Sonic raced through the intersection, and in the distance, he could just make out his friends Tails and Knuckles at the bus stop, boarding the bus.

"Wait! Stop! Don't leave yet!" shouted Sonic, by now beginning to tire from running so long. He suddenly wished he hadn't spent his summer playing the _Gears of War _series in his room.

Tails turned to the rapidly growing blue ball on the horizon. "What-? Sonic?!" he sputtered.

Sonic slowed to a stop in front of the steps to the bus, huffing and puffing harder than the Big Bad Wolf. "Tails! Knuckles!" he panted. "I made it!"

"Hey, buddy!" said Tails, giving Sonic a hug. "For a second, we thought you got that flu that's been spreading around town."

"It's a shame he didn't," Knuckles lamented.

Sonic raised an eyebrow at Knuckles as the three of them headed into the bus. Upon boarding, Sonic paused for a second to admire his bright red and white shoes. _Thanks, little buddies. I never would have made it without you guys._

Sonic and Tails found an empty seat around the middle of the bus and sat down in it. Tails noticed that Knuckles had already taken the bench behind them, and had spread out as wide as possible to the point where he took up the whole seat.

"I'm so bad," laughed Knuckles to himself. "Hey, look, everybody!" he yelled in an obnoxious tone of voice to everyone else on the school bus. "I'm taking up the whole seat even thought it's meant for two passengers!"

No one else cared.

Tails rolled his eyes as the bus started to move. "He thinks he's so evil for taking up two seats on the bus," he scoffed.

"Eh, Dr. Eggman is evil. All he is is annoying," Sonic replied. He scratched the area between his legs and sighed. Why was he still friends with Knuckles anyway? As far as Sonic knew, he had always been a prick.

Sonic's mind flashed back to the first day of second grade, when he and Knuckles first met.

...

_Sonic took a bite out of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, trying to block out the sound of the other kids' noisy, overlapping conversations. It seemed that all the other students wanted to do was either yell the word "penis" to each other over and over, throw food at each other, or talk about how "hot" Justin Beaver was. Since Sonic didn't want to do any of that, he chose to sit by himself near the back of the cafeteria. His friend and confidant, Tails, who usually ate with him, was absent for a reason Sonic had since forgotten._

_"Whoooa! Is that PB&J?!"_

_Sonic jumped when he heard the voice. He turned to his right and saw a red echidna towering over him._

_"Uhh... yeah, it is," hesitated Sonic, uncomfortably. "W-what's your name?"_

_"Knuckles. Can I have a bite of that?" the echidna asked._

_"...sure?" Sonic squeaked out, wanting this strange new kid to leave him alone. Before he could say another word, Knuckles ripped the sandwich out of his hand and crammed the whole thing into his mouth. Sonic was beside himself with fury._

_"Mrs. Davidson!" he shouted. "Some little twerp just stole my sandwich!"_

_"Sonic, what have I told you about calling other kids names?" scolded Mrs. Davidson, the lunch monitor. "Do you want me to call your parents?"_

_Knuckles was guffawing as Sonic buried his face in his tray._

...

Sonic snapped out of his flashback when the bus drove over a speed bump. He watched Mobius High School grow bigger and bigger out the window as the bus turned into the parking lot.

When the bus stopped, Tails, Knuckles, and Sonic (as well as a few dozen background extras that are completely irrelevant to the story's progression) climbed out of it. "We're at school now. Time to go to class!" stated Tails matter-of-factly. A few people behind him who heard him groaned aloud.

Charmy Bee flicked Tails' left ear as he passed him. "You know, Tails, for a rocket scientist, you sure say stupid stuff sometimes."

* * *

Sonic allowed himself to reminisce somewhat as he slowly walked through the hallways. Although the lockers had been repainted in a glossy shade of cerulean over the summer, the inside of the school remained largely the same as he had remembered them for the past three years. He smiled as he remembered when Tails' voice started cracking right before the school singing competition and chuckled to himself at the memory of Espio tripping and tipping into Mr. Randall, leading to what can only be described as an anthropomorphic set of dominoes.

He even remembered the day he met Amy at the tenth grade Christmas party. Ever since then, they had had major crushes on each other. Sonic tingled with excitement at the thought of her flowing pink fur and started fantasizing about their lips finally touching each other. _Oh, Amy, you have no idea how much I want to kiss you all over, _thought Sonic, dreamily pulling his textbooks close to his chest.

He started kissing his books.

Sloppily.

In a public school building.

Smack dab _in the main hallway__._

When Sonic realized what he was doing, his eyes smashed open and his pupils shrank. He scanned the area. "Oh, God, I hope nobody saw that," he whispered, stealthily backpacking his books and tiptoeing away in shame.

As the hedgehog made his way to homeroom in room 306, a rather large purple cat peeked down at him from on top of a vending machine and smirked.

* * *

"Hello, everybody, and welcome to twelfth grade. My name is Mrs. Linda... Fox." Mrs. Fox wrote her name on the blackboard and circled it.

"Good morning, Mrs. Fox," droned the class in monotone, not completely in sync.

"...rs. Fox," a couple of voices were heard trailing off after everyone else had spoken.

"I will be your homeroom and English teacher this year," continued Mrs. Fox. Mrs. Fox was tall and thin and had gray fur and she was _not_ pretty.

Sonic did not care much for English; neither did he any class that did not regard running and going fast. The closest thing to that was track and field, and that, therefore, was his favorite thing pertaining to high school. Last year, it had rained for practically half the school year, and Sonic was unable to speed around the track as much as he wanted. Maybe this year would be different, he hoped.

Led by the school's P.A. announcer, the class saluted the Mobian flag and recited the Mobian Pledge of Allegiance. The whole time, Sonic's eyes circled around the room searching for Amy. But she wasn't in the room at all. Where was she? She wasn't sick, as he had remembered seeing her earlier chatting with her friend Cream near the back of the bus. She must have gotten into the gifted English class, he assumed. Sonic was disappointed that his girlfriend wasn't in his class with him. While he was looking around, he thought he saw a shadow behind him and heard a soft ripping noise, but paid it no mind.

"Please be seated," said Mrs. Fox after the morning announcements ended, opening her lesson book. "Today we will briefly overview the process of composing a well-written narrative." She turned the page. "Dear journal, I'm not sure what's going on, but I think I've gotten some terrible disease."

At this, the students started giving each other confused glances. Mrs. Fox kept reading, nonchalantly.

"You see, my scrotum has been itching uncontrollably over the past week, and nothing I've tried has helped ease my discomfort. Brushing up against anything makes the itch worse, so I have to sit in awkward positions to keep comfortable."

A few people began to snicker.

"I've tried rash cream, but it only makes my nutsack burn really bad. I can't stand it any longer. I'm about to ask my mom to set me up a doctor's appointment. I really hope it's not cancer. Signed, Sonic the—Sonic the Hedgehog?!" Mrs. Fox's eyes widened with shock as she finally realized that this was not part of the book.

By now, the whole class had erupted with uproarious laughter. Sonic, who, up to this point, was too busy daydreaming about going on a date with Amy to pay attention, heard everyone else laughing and was puzzled. Glancing around the room, he saw that even Tails, who was sitting to his left, had his face pressed into his desk and was shaking with giggles. Sonic tapped his best friend on the shoulder and asked, "Hey, uh, what is everyone laughing about?"

Tails looked at Sonic. His cheeks were red and he was so hysterical that he was barely able to talk. "Mrs. Fox... is... reading about... bah-ha-ha... your _balls!_" he finally managed to explain between bouts of cackling.

"My what?!" Sonic shouted in incredulity, before the reality of what was going on set in. She was reading his journal. "_Holy_... Mrs. Fox! Wait! No! Stop reading that!" he pleaded.

"It's too late, Sonic," interrupted a voice from behind him. It was Rouge the Bat, who struggled to hold back another wave of giggles in an attempt to be sympathetic. "She already... mmff... read it all."

"But my journal's right here on the desk! How is she even..." Sonic began, flipping through his journal and finding that the page describing his "disease" had been crudely torn out. "...huh?"

"All right, who's the wise guy who taped this into my book?" yelled Mrs. Fox, holding up the offending page of paper for the class to see. "Was it _you_, Sonic?"

"Ma'am, I-I have no idea who did this," Sonic told her, honestly having no idea what had happened.

The teacher narrowed her eyes. "Mmm-_hmmmmm_," she muttered, a hint of suspicion present in her voice. "Then who did?"

From the back of the class, Big the Cat raised his hand. "Oh! Oh! I know who did it, Mrs. Smocks! It was me...shit, I mean Shadow! Damn it!" To tell the truth, Big the Cat was not a very good liar. Nor was he good at remembering people's names. "Okay, it was me."

Mrs. Fox gasped. "Big!"

"But why, Big?" asked Sonic, his cheeks turning redder by the second.

"You deserve it, Sonic," retorted Big. "You were acting like a total weirdo earlier, kissing your books like a little gaywad."

"Oh, yeah? And what's wrong with being a 'little gaywad'?" Charmy Bee countered, offended.

"Shut up, midget boy," Big snarled back.

"Big the Cat!" screeched Mrs. Fox, getting his attention. "I have had enough of your complete disrespect for your fellow classmates!" She pointed toward the door. "Principal's office, immediately!"

Big exited the room, grumbling in defeat. English class continued without a hitch after that, but Sonic couldn't focus on the lecture. He kept hearing the other students snicker from time to time, and while the teacher didn't notice it, he certainly did.

He kicked an empty Sprite can as he trudged through the hallway on his way to second period. He couldn't believe it—his own friends laughing at him for having a rash that just happened to be in an embarrassing place, even Tails. He felt denigrated and absolutely mortified. He looked away when he spotted Tails by his locker, unable to face him after how he laughed at him like that.

"Hey, Sonic?"

Sonic heard Tails whisper his name.

"Don't talk to me," he sighed in response, crossing his arms.

Tails, using his two tails as helicopter rotors, flew over Sonic, turned to face him, and landed. "Look, Sonic, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to laugh at your journal entry. It was just that Mrs. Lesson was reading it to the class and—"

"Sorry, Tails, I gotta go to history class," said Sonic, walking away.

"—and y-you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with having problems with your balls. I'm sure a lot of other people here are having problems they'd rather keep private, too, and you should go point that out to people and tell them, 'Hey! It's not okay for you to make fun of me like that! I'm a person, too, you know!' That'll teach 'em! You have every right to be treated with dignity and understanding, buddy, and I'm going to stand right by you all the way, Sonic! Uh...Sonic?" Tails finally realized that Sonic was gone and that he was talking and gesticulating to nobody.

About twenty feet away, Sonic found Rouge and Amy talking by the lockers. At least Amy didn't know about his itchy scrotum, Sonic thought, relieved. He waved at her. "Hi, Amy! Where were you first period?"

"Oh, hey, Sonic!" Amy chirped. "I'm in the gifted English class. But don't worry, we'll be together in most of the other classes!"

"So were you telling Rouge about how we held hands last week?" asked Sonic, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in a while.

"Uh, actually, Rouge was telling me about how you apparently have this awful rash on your crotch and everyone found out earlier."

And with that, Sonic silently stepped over to his locker, unlocked it, stuck his head in, inhaled, and screamed as loudly and for as long as he could.

"What's with him?" Amy wondered.

"It must be the asbestos in the ceiling getting to him," Rouge shrugged, pointing upward.


	2. The Prom

SONIC HIGH SCHOOL: The Remake

CHAPTER TWO

Sonic slammed the door to his room as he stamped into it. He had been publicly made a fool of during the first period of twelfth grade, and the rest of the day hadn't gone any better for him. To make matters worse, he had heard Amy, the one Sonic assumed would support him in his time of need, tell her friends about his itchy testicles at lunch. He thought she would keep it a secret between them, but she _didn't_. He felt like he couldn't trust anybody anymore.

He ripped a pendant for his school's football team, the Green Hill Gators, off the wall in rage, before flopping face-first into his pillow. "I hate everything!" he wailed. "Even this pillow!" He punched it a few times, then threw it into his ceiling fan, which launched it toward the bedroom door, which Sonic's father was coincidentally in the process of opening at the time.

"Hey, Soni—_oomph!_" The pillow struck him in the face with such force he almost fell backward. He silently picked it up and tossed it back to his son. "Uh... yeah. I just came to make sure you were okay in here. How did you like your first day of senior year?"

"It was, erm, _lovely_," Sonic fibbed, trying to smile a little.

"I'm glad to hear that, old champ! Now, can you please try to be a little quieter? I'm trying to read."

"Sure thing, Dad," sighed Sonic. His dad stepped back into the hall and shut the door.

Sonic decided to try and get his mind off what had happened earlier today by starting on his homework. He extracted his world history book from his backpack, as well as a pencil and a pad of paper for taking notes, and began to read.

_The Hill Top War was a Mobian civil war between the residents of both the Hill Top Zone and the Marble Zone, lasting from May 2, 1974 to March 27, 1979. The war was the result of a dispute between the Hilldwellers and the Marblonians over a baseball game between the Green Hill Phantasies and the Chemical Plant Radioactives on April 30, 1974. During the sixth inning, controversy arose in the stands over a play in which batter Rudy Gellaro slid into home at approximately the same time catcher Evan Simmons caught the ball. Hilldwelling resident Drew Tilly disagreed with the umpire's call of "safe", insisting that Gellaro was indeed out, after which an argument broke out between he and Marblonian resident Jimmy Orwell, who sided with the umpi—_

Just then, Sonic heard a rapping on his windowpane and looked up from his book. His facial expression morphed into one of disgust when he saw that it was Tails, who was hovering outside his window with his flying tails. The same person who had laughed at his fucking face earlier for having an itchy scrotum had now come to visit him like it was all no big deal. Sonic begrudingly walked over and opened his window. "What do you want, Tails?" he groaned.

"Are you okay, Sonic?" Tails flew through the window and landed on Sonic's bed. "I was worried about you. You're not still upset about today, are you?"

Sonic's heart softened a little at the sound of his friend's voice. _Eh, I guess I can't stay mad at him forever_, he thought, sitting down next to Tails.

"Yeah, I kinda am," admitted Sonic sadly.

"Well, you know whenever you have a problem, I'll try to be here to help," said Tails, giving Sonic a hug. "I'm sorry I laughed at your journal entry earlier today."

"Eh, it's not really a big deal," Sonic dismissed. "I think I overreacted a little today." He sighed deeply. "I just can't believe Big the Cat would rip a page out of my private journal and tape it into the teacher's book for her to read. And now, practically everyone thinks I'm a complete loser and... and..." A couple of tears ran down his cheeks. Tails placed his hand under Sonic's face to catch them. "What—what are you doing?"

"I'm protecting your floor," Tails responded, pointing to himself. "Tears stain carpets, you know!"

Baffled by this remark, Sonic stared at Tails with a strange look on his face. There was an uncomfortably long silence.

"Aaaaanyway..." Tails drew out the word, somewhat embarrassedly, "I also wanted to show you this flier I got in the mail today. I think it's from our school." He pulled a sheet of paper out of his sock and unfolded it, handing it to his blue buddy.

Sonic wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and silently skimmed the flier:

_MOBIUS HIGH SCHOOL PRESENTS..._

**_THE FIRST DAY OF 12th GRADE SENIOR PROM!_**

_Mobius High is celebrating your advancement to 12th grade with a special senior year prom! Music and refreshments will be provided by the school faculty. Males are expected to wear tuxedos and females dressers. (See-through clothing is not recommended.) Prom starts at 6:00 PM on August 27th at the address below:_

_221 Rock Candy Highway, Star Light Zone, Mobius 19903_

_For more information, please call (191) 382-5968. Limousine services are available upon request. Happy promming!_

As Sonic began to pass the flier back, one word in particular suddenly caught his eye. "'Dressers'?" he asked aloud. "How do you _wear_ a _dresser_? Tails, are you sure this is real?"

Tails took the flier back and examined it closely, finally replying, "I'm pretty sure."

"But none of our teachers today even mentioned a prom! How—"

"Sonic, calm down. It has the school logo on the top," pointed out Tails, his confidence about the flier strengthening. "Plus, it's in Comic Sans. You know it's an unwritten rule that all school-related announcements must be typed in Comic Sans." He handed the flier back to Sonic so he could look at it again. "See? It's completely legit. You're acting like you don't want to dance with Amy tonight."

"Amy?" For Sonic, the name struck a romantic nerve, triggering his head to start to fill with images of beautiful, beautiful Amy. Then he remembered something that made him cringe. "Uh... I don't know, Tails. I don't like how she told everyone at lunch about my infection."

"Amy's luscious pink flowing hair," Tails quickly blurted out.

"Amy's luscious pink flowing hair..." repeated Sonic dreamily, as all the resent he had for Amy's actions that day melted away. He entered a lust-induced trance. Tails watched Sonic sit and drool for almost six minutes before he finally intervened. He snapped his fingers in front of Sonic's face, snapping him out of his trance.

"Huh?! What?! ZackMorrisistrash!" yelled a startled Sonic.

"It's almost five-twenty," chuckled Tails. "We're going to be late. I'll make us some tuxes in my new 3D printer."

Tails pulled a small capsule out of his other sock. Sonic was less than impressed. "That's a 3D printer?"

"Ah-ah-ah." The fox put his right hand straight out, signaling 'wait'. "We have to irrigate it first." He spat on the capsule. "Stand back," he warned. A low rumbling noise began, then intensified as the little capsule began to vibrate. Soon, it began to bounce around faster and faster. After that, there was a brief moment where the whole room shook violently. Then there was a deafeningly loud "bang", and Sonic's bedroom was completely engulfed by opaque, white smoke. After it cleared, a full-sized 3D printer now stood in the center of the room.

"How-how did you do that?" gasped Sonic in amazement.

"Science," Tails replied with a smug smile.

"Well, I'm going to call the school and order us a limo," said Sonic. "You go ahead and print the tuxedos."

"Whee! A limo!" squealed Tails like an eleven-year-old girl. "I mean, oh, cool, a... a limo."

Sonic stepped out of his room and punched the number printed on the flier into his cell phone. It rang four, five, six, seven times, but finally, someone picked up.

"Ehhrr, tank yer fa carllin' Molrbius Haih Schrool Rimmo-ah Serveecis," the voice on the other end greeted. "Muh name, uhhh, Toby. Yeh, a-Toby. How kun I halp yoo toodee?" The voice spoke in a extremely thick, highly perplexing accent that was of completely indistinct origin to Sonic the Hedgehog. Even more troubling was the fact that the voice sounded vaguely familiar to him, but he couldn't put his finger on who it was. He decided it didn't really matter.

"Hello, Toby. I'd like to order a limo to come pick us up as soon as possible," Sonic told the weird voice.

"And-tuh wart zirs yar addless?" asked "Toby".

"238 Shrub Pig Way, Green Hill Zone, Mobius."

"Grape! Uhl rimmo-ah well bu at yer hose shortry," "Toby" announced before abruptly hanging up.

Sonic put his phone away and returned to his room. Two shiny black tuxedos were now draped over the edge of his bed, and Tails sat next to them, beaming with pride. "Isn't it great what you can do with technology?" he remarked. "All you have to do is hook a computer up to the printer, click on an image, and it prints it out for you in 3D!"

Sonic tried on his tuxedo, and was impressed when it fit like a glove. Tails seemed to enjoy his, too. A horn honked outside.

"That must be our limo!" Sonic chimed.

The two ran downstairs and out the front door. Parked in the driveway, behind Sonic's parents' SUV, was a dazzling white stretch limousine that was so long, it needed six wheels. Sonic and Tails squealed with excitement and climbed into the back seat. Inside, a plush cream leather interior awaited them, complete with a vintage jukebox and a mini fridge they found was packed to the brim with their favorite sodas.

"Hey, Sonic, what's this button do?" Tails pushed a bright blue button on the ceiling, which caused a panel on the ceiling to open and a small television with a built-in Dreamcast to swing down, complete with controllers already hooked up.

"This is truly a high school senior's paradise," Sonic nearly whispered, awestruck by the limousine and its features.

The limousine drove along for about a mile, Sonic and Tails deciding to play a basketball game on the Dreamcast. As they were picking their teams, the engine began to sputter, first in small bursts, then louder and louder.

"What the hell?" Tails exclaimed.

The limo pulled off the road as the car rolled to a stop. There were shrill grinding noises from the engine for a few seconds, then a "boom", and then nothing.

"Hey! What's going on?" yelled Sonic.

"What's the big idea?!" whined Tails.

The partition window rolled down, and the driver, a robotic chicken with a handlebar mustache, turned around to face his passengers. "Uh, I think we just ran out of gas, guys."

"Aww, man," Tails groaned.

Again, Sonic thought this person's voice seemed familiar; this time, so did the figure. He tapped his fingers against his chin and thought hard, but no names came to mind. They all got out of the limo, and the avian driver began to pace and mutter to himself in annoyance. "Damn it, I told Eggman to fill the tank for me, and he didn't—"

"Eggman!?" Sonic almost jumped in surprise.

"Who's Eggman?" the chicken asked. "I said 'Egbert'. He's my roommate."

"Oh, okay."

"Anyway, it looks like we're stranded here until a tow truck comes." The robot chicken man pulled out his cell phone. "It looks like you might miss your little prom. I'm so sorry." He actually began to feel truly saddened for their plight.

"That's okay. We'll get to the prom somehow," replied Tails. "Oh, Sonic, do you still have that flier?"

"Uh, hold on." Sonic dug around in the pocket of his tuxedo coat until he found what he was looking for. "I think this is it. Here you go."

Tails looked at the flier and pulled out his smartphone.

"It's okay, Tails. I'm sure calling 911 won't be necessary," Sonic reassured.

"I'm not," said Tails in a low, bad-ass tone of voice, the gears inside his brain turning. "I'm ascertaining the GPS coordinates of the address on this flier." The phone made some beeping noises. "We're going to fly first class to the prom."

"We are?" Sonic asked in confusion.

"You _are?!_" the driver asked in even more confusion than Sonic.

"Yes, we absolutely are," Tails grinned. His tails started to rotate, faster and faster, and then faster still. "Tails Airlines, Flight 14 to First Day of 12th Grade Senior Prom is now boarding. Grab my hand, Sonic."

Sonic squeezed Tails' left hand tightly as Tails held his phone in his right hand to keep track of which direction they needed to go. The current caused by Tails' tails spinning became roughly horizontal to the ground as the two of them began to lift into the air.

"Tails, I can't say this enough, but you're a genius," Sonic laughed.

"I know," boasted Tails proudly as they climbed in altitude. "Prom, here we come!"

And so, Sonic and Tails flew away into the orange, dusky sky, heading towards the prom. The limo driver chicken, who turned out to be just Scratch wearing a dollar-store disguise, looked on in a combination of wonder and shocked flabbergast.

"Well, now I've seen everything," he commented, stepping into the road and into the path of a nearby oncoming semi.

* * *

**A/N: If you like this rewrite, please feel free to leave a friendly review!**


	3. Trapped!

SONIC HIGH SCHOOL: The Remake

CHAPTER THREE _**(ugh)**_

"Are you _sure_ this is the right way, Tails?"

"According to my phone's GPS, it is. Computers don't lie."

Tails and Sonic were five hundred feet in the air, Tails spinning his tails like helicopter blades as Sonic held tightly onto his left hand. Tails' phone had directed them off the mainland and past a narrow bridge that looked barely wide enough for an SUV. Now, they were overlooking a small island—probably no more than a mile and a half wide—on which the small road continued. As they descended, Sonic observed that the island looked a bit like a skull.

"_In one thousand feet, you will arrive at your destination,_" declared Tails' smartphone.

"Well, I'm guessing it's on this island," Tails said as they landed on the road on the island's edge.

Sonic glanced at the time on his phone. "I hope it is. The prom starts in about six minutes."

The two began to follow the little narrow lane deeper and deeper into the island, past papery brown grass, drooping sunflowers, wilted dandelions, and plenty of bare trees. In fact, every bit of flora on the island appeared to be either dead or in the process of dying. The atmosphere made Sonic feel simultaneously underwhelmed and overwhelmed. Something was definitely off about this place.

"Sheesh, this place could use a good watering," Tails noted nonchalantly.

_No shit, Sherlock,_ thought Sonic. _Don't you care that this place might be dangerous?!_

Tails parted the tangled branches of a dead bush to reveal a small faded sign. "'Welcome to Ghost Island'?" he read aloud. "Hmm, interesting name for an island."

"Wow, you don't say," Sonic mumbled uneasily.

Eventually, the two reached a large two-story Victorian-style farmhouse. Much of the white paint on the exterior seemed to have chipped away over the decades, revealing splotches of brown, rotten wood underneath. The window shutters were crooked, as if ready to fall off, and half of the roof's shingles were missing. The sky above Sonic and Tails was now dark and overcast and a sudden gust of wind made them both shiver.

"_You have arrived at 221 Rock Candy Highway._"

Sonic checked the mailbox near the house for an address number. Sure enough, on the left side, in faded, barely legible writing, was the number "221".

"This is it," Sonic confirmed to Tails. "But why is it in this creepy old house? Something's not right."

"Relax, Sonic," scoffed Tails. "It must be a Halloween-themed prom."

"But it's not even September yet." Beads of sweat formed on Sonic's forehead.

"So? You know how they always put out Halloween and Christmas stuff earlier every year. In fact, by my calculations, we could be seeing Halloween candy sales in June by the year 2040."

Sonic decided that Tails was likely right, and they both walked up to the decrepit old house. Sonic couldn't see any cars parked around the house, but assumed they were parked in the back. The steps leading onto the front porch creaked and bent as the two climbed up them. And when Sonic opened the front door, it fell off the hinges, crashing tremendously loudly onto the vomit-colored shag carpet in the foyer.

The two of them walked cautiously into the house. The bright citron-colored wallpaper soon gave way to pitch-black darkness as they moved further and further away from the front doorway.

"Damn, it's dark in here," said Sonic. "I can't see a thing."

"Let's use our phones," suggested Tails.

Sonic retrieved his phone from his tuxedo pocket and turned it on, Tails doing the same. It didn't make much of a difference, but at least it was enough to illuminate the head of a ghost peeking around a corner.

"Oh, look, Sonic, a ghost."

"Mm-hmm."

There was a five-second silence.

"A ghost! Ahhh!" screamed Sonic and Tails in unison, immediately skedaddling. The ghost started a chainsaw and began to chase after them, holding the buzzing chainsaw over their heads.

"Shit!" shouted Tails, panting. "He's got a chainsaw!"

"Let—let's hide upstairs!" Sonic suggested, now dearly terrified.

They ran up the rickety old stairs to the second floor. The ghost followed soon behind, pulling the chainsaw's cord repeatedly to create rhythmic revving noises. It swung several times at Sonic's and Tails' necks, but missed every time, instead slicing deep cuts into the walls. Eyeing a closet at the end of the hallway, Sonic sped toward it, but stopped short of it when he heard a _crrrrack _and Tails crying, "Sonic!"

"Tails! I'm coming, Tails!" answered Sonic, turning around and rolling under the ghost's chainsaw. The weakened old hardwood floor had given way when Tails stepped on it, leaving him hanging between floors. He grabbed Tails' hands and pulled him up to safety.

"You're a lifesaver, Sonic. You know, I'm honestly impressed," Tails remarked. "They went all out on this haunted house prom theme."

The ghost gave up and floated into the upstairs bathroom to wash up. The hedgehog and fox returned downstairs and entered what seemed to be a living room, although it was too dark for either of them to really confirm it.

"Anyway, where is everybody?" asked Sonic. "We've been here ten minutes, and I haven't seen anyone else from the school yet."

"Ohh, I'm afraid nobody else will be attending," boomed a sinister voice.

Sonic froze. "W-who said that?"

"Just an old, shall we say, _friend_ of yours."

The unknown figure cackled evilly, sending chills down Sonic's and Tails' spines. Light suddenly bathed the whole house, revealing the staircase they had just used, a sofa, a piano, a Navajo-inspired area rug, and a man who was so round, you would swear he had eaten a live pufferfish.

Sonic's jaw hit the floor when he recognized the person. "D-Dr. Eggman?" he whimpered.

"You _fools_," snarled the nefarious Dr. Eggman, twisting an end of his brown mustache between his fingers. "I sent you those phony prom flyers and limo to lure you into meeting me here at this abandoned house. Now, you have fallen right into my trap!"

"I _thought_ your voice on the phone sounded familiar!" Sonic shouted, enraged both at being duped and at his own gullibility. "Are you trying to snatch our Chaos Emeralds?"

"You're not taking our Chaos Emeralds away from us if I can help it!" declared Tails, shaking his fist as he courageously stepped forward.

"Oh, but that's where you're **_wrong!_**" retorted Eggman, bellowing the last word. He laughed again, this time, harder, as he opened a gray, box-shaped device and pressed a button inside it. A small bottomless metal cage descended from a hole in the ceiling, clattering to the floor and enclosing Tails inside it. Eggman's laughter only intensified further as he watched Tails rattle the bars of the cage. It became gradually more maniacal, more filled with malice. Sonic's only movement was his frantic hyperventilation; he was effectively paralyzed with fear.

"Not only will I take your precious Chaos Emeralds," Eggman continued, "but now, since your weakling little friend is ensnared, I think I'll siphon his intelligence from him as well. He won't need it when he becomes my personal servant!"

As much as Sonic wanted to beat Eggman to death at that moment, he was too apprehensive to move. What if Eggman locked him in a cage, too? His eyes slowly shifted to Tails, who was miserably straining at the bars of the cage. The steel bars refused to budge even a micromillimeter, yet he continued to try valiantly to pry them apart.

Sonic felt a lump grow in his throat. His best friend since preschool was about to become a slave to his worst enemy, and it was quite possible he would never see him again. He didn't notice the tear sliding down his face until he heard Eggman.

"Aww, is widdle baby Sonicy-Wonicy gonna cwy?" teased Eggman, mockingly circling around his eyes with his fists.

"That's it!" Sonic cried, reaching his breaking point. He grit his teeth, entered a roll and then, performing a Spin Dash Attack, launched himself right at Eggman. But Eggman, having anticipated this, thrust his abdomen outwards just as Sonic was about to hit him, resulting in Sonic bouncing off his suprisingly firm abs and ricocheting around the room. He finally smashed face-first into one of the archaically-papered walls; the impact was so severe that Sonic's whole front was left a faint shade of avocado green, patterned with barely-visible stylized ducks.

Eggman laughed again, jumping onto the mantel of the fireplace. "I find it exceedingly adorable that you think a little weakling like you can fight an evil mastermind like me! I really ought to trap you too, but your pathetic attempts to attack me are simply so amusing!"

"I've had enough of your cliché, poorly-written villain dialogue, Eggman!" yelled Sonic, leaping onto the mantel just as Eggman leaped off it onto the floor. "Aw, damn it."

"Hah! So much for being the 'fastest thing alive,' eh, snail-boy?"

"Snail-boy?" Sonic repeated as he hopped down from the mantel. "Seriously? You couldn't have at least gone with 'Slownic'? God, you suck at making upAGHK!" He suddenly felt two tons of force smashing into him and launching him backward. While he was talking, Eggman had prepared a wrecking ball and pushed it in his direction. Therefore, "Slownic" turned out to be the perfect nickname for Sonic.

Or so Eggman thought. Acting suddenly characteristically quickly, Sonic climbed to the top of the wrecking ball, holding tightly onto the cable attaching it to the ceiling as the ball started to swing back the other way. He waited until the ball was in the perfect position, then lunged off it, roundhouse-kicking Eggman in the head on his way down. The two of them landed on the ground in an awkward face-to-face position.

"You're mine now, Egg_jerk_!" Sonic yelled triumphantly before Eggman silently poked him in the eyes, causing the hedgehog to get up and stumble around while cursing in agony.

"Okay, this is seriously the dumbest fight scene I've ever seen," commented Tails, briefly acting as the author's mouthpiece, from his cage.

"Let's face it, Sonic. You're just not worth my time," Eggman sneered. "I'll be back in thirty minutes to annihilate you all." He then pressed a button on a different remote control, and a dome of crisscrossing orange, green, and pink laser beams materialized around him. The lasers bounced around in a magnificent light show.

"All?" asked Sonic. "Don't you mean 'both'?"

He waited shortly for a response, but there was none. Instead, Dr. Eggman pressed another button on the remote. The laser dome began to rise, a circular part of the parquet floor equal in diameter to that of the dome ripping out of the ground and rising with it, becoming the dome's floor.

"_Sayonara_, simpletons!" taunted Eggman as the dome approached a swirling, sparkling, dark purple portal in the ceiling. "Soon, your Chaos Emeralds will be all mine!"

Sonic and Tails watched helplessly as their archenemy burst into a final fit of evil laughter before he and the laser dome disappeared into the portal. The portal then closed, and there was silence. A large, steel-plated LCD display faded in on the wall closest to where the portal on the ceiling had been. Glowing red numbers then filled its screen and started counting down, the display emitting shrill beeps once every second.

_30:00_

_29:59_

_29:58_

_29:57_

"Sonic?" whispered Tails, his voice quivering. "I want to go home!"

"I know you do, little buddy," Sonic sighed, before hatching an idea. "Hey, maybe I can help you."

"Really? How?"

Sonic reversed about ten steps, then curled into a ball and revved up for another Spin Dash, firing himself at the cage. _Clang!_ The next thing Sonic knew, he was lying on his back on the floor on the other side of the room. He could feel the blood throbbing through his head, like his heart was inside his cranium. "Are you okay?" asked Tails.

"I guess," grunted Sonic as he struggled to get to his knees. He moaned in pain. "I see Eggman made sure this cage would be extra strong."

"I don't like this, Sonic." Tails was shivering now. "At first Eggman was going to just take my smarts from me, but now he's going to kill us!"

"Don't worry, Tails," said Sonic. "I'll make sure we both make it home safe."

"But what if you don't free me in time? I don't want to die, Sonic! _I don't want to die!_"

Watching the fear play out in his best friend's widened, teary eyes was almost too much for the hedgehog to bear. "Don't worry, old buddy. You'll be okay." Sonic could only hope this was true.

"Promise?" Tails swallowed hard.

Sonic choked on his words for a second, then placed his hand in Tails'. "I... I promise, Tails. I'll get you out of here, no matter what!"

He turned toward the hallway, but stopped when he heard Tails sob, "Please don't go, Sonic!"

Sonic wanted to cry, too. "I have to, Tails. I'm going to see if I can find a way to unlock your cage."

"W-well, okay, I guess." Then, almost in a whisper, "I love you, Sonic."

"I love you too, Tails."

Sonic started off again down the hallway, a chill running down his spine and his heart sinking as he realized that this may have been the last time he would see Tails alive.


End file.
